This was all asked for and said by TheCooki3Cat, she asks that y'all understand and accept her choice.
I want to apologize to everyone for the way I acted the few months I was here. I never realized how much of a bad person I was being until I left. I want to ask that everyone forgives me and understands why I'm making this decision.
I always loved being the type of person to help out and do everything I could, even to the point of over-stress and metal instability...and I still tend to act that way. Because of different leader-like positions I am put over I tend to naturally act in a leader-like way. And I never realized how that was affecting many members of the community. I never liked to be praised by anyone and I really hated being put into the open about things...but as more and more people begin to notice things about me, I became prideful in a way. Even still (when people asked me to apply for staff) I refused the offer everytime...and I never would allow myself to go over a certain level of pride to even think I would become a staff member. I really appreciated the thought and was grateful people thought that way, but I never agreed to it or went along with it because I didn't want the person I was being at the time to change negatively. I want to stay the same and stay meek..to stay humble....I never ever even tried to lift myself on a pedestal. But, every time I always talked, I never noticed (until now that I re-read everything) how I would always put myself into my comments, or bring myself into the conversation. And I never meant to be a nuisance or burden to anyone whenever I would try to help out. I never lied when I said I loved to help my community or anyone in general, and I still mean it to this day. I do want to be of service to the community, I really do. Every thank you and encouraging word I said to every member (especially the staff) I meant. But, as time went on and people were just so friendly...and kept lifting me up...and supporting me...I just...changed. I never wanted to be staff or be like them (even though i strived to be there)...but I still wanted the community to be run in a close to perfected way...and I kept pushing my suggestions and ideas on the community without realizing. I had let the forums overrun my life like all the other things I was given leadership over...and I didn't realize it. Because it was wired into me, it became natural...and I feel so bad, and I am truly sorry.
I made the forums become a second home and duty to me...and I didn't care what negative opinions or comments people had to say about me...I just, really want to apologize. I never meant to act the way I did and I'm truly sorry that I pushed what I wanted on the community. I just really wanted the community to be this safe-haven for people of all ages, and I just...idk... I have grown in so many ways since being here....positively....but again I've also had those negative ways....and for that...I must make a temporary leave. I need to gain self-control and restrain myself from just talking all the time... Not that long ago I stopped talking on a lot of threads because of different reasons...and I felt like it was just the best to do...but I realized..the more I was here, and didn't say things. The more bitter I became towards people. And I felt so bad and worried about the person I was becoming. I realized the things I wanted I didn't need and I never would. I was becoming to prideful and just....agitated. And I couldn't stay.
I would like to ask to have all my staff applications permanently deleted (and any I ever even think to put in in the future) and that my account be banned until June....please understand this is just very important for me and I really need this. I never liked to hold anything against anyone, and i still don't. Please know I'm leaving on good terms with everyone, and that all bitterness I harbored inside I do not have anymore. I never felt so alive.....i guess.....since I left...and I just need to keep that time away. Again I'm so so sorry and I really hope you all can forgive me. Please understand that the things I did, suggested, or anything, was just out of natural and pure intentions and I didn't notice the bad things until I really took the time away...I'm sorry...and I hope to see you all soon.
If my account doesn't get temp banned I ask that you find a way to disable it or something. I and learning self-control and I do not wish to be tempted to log on and see what is going on...I want to be a whole new person when I come back, I want to be changed positively...so I beg this of you all...please temp ban or disable the account until June. (this is what I TheCooki3Cat want)...
Thank you all, and please understand why I am choosing to make this decision. I am still going to be on the server, and other social media platforms..but I must leave here in order to regain the meekness I had before...I want to regain the humbleness I had when I first came to the community..and I hope when I return y'all would be open to accepting me back...I closed off my account so that no one could contact me on here...anyway. If the staff wants proof that I TheCooki3Cat said and mean this I will log on to give my validation and take my leave.
This is my farewell to you all....I wish you all the absolute best.
Sending and Leaving with lots of love, Cookie
well.. tell her this since I only have her added on the server.
take as much time as u need off. i’m so proud of u and me and everyone else r here for report u. i love u so much and i hope u never forget that. wishing u the best love. - mal 
