Scary story

[lucas1901]

So I'm a scardy cat but I can come up with scary stories

So there was a guy named Ronald he always goes to a graveyard and does weird stuff to the graves and then one day in his house 10 ghosts came and started haunting him for years and 1 day he moved out and moved to USA then the ghosts followed him and still haunted him they said, If u keep moving we will kill u. It said in blood then he went on to switch on the light another hand was there then a graveyard was near a ghost there was saying, "Cooommmeeee heerrreeeeee" he came there and he felt scratching and he saw a knife!

That's it is it good?

 

[vIper]

Boring and not logical

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[deleted_user_19610]

So I'm a scardy cat but I can come up with scary stories

So there was a guy named Ronald he always goes to a graveyard and does weird stuff to the graves and then one day in his house 10 ghosts came and started haunting him for years and 1 day he moved out and moved to USA then the ghosts followed him and still haunted him they said, If u keep moving we will kill u. It said in blood then he went on to switch on the light another hand was there then a graveyard was near a ghost there was saying, "Cooommmeeee heerrreeeeee" he came there and he felt scratching and he saw a knife!

That's it is it good?

Use descriptive words for this kind of story, that's what makes them gripping also this wasn't creepy at all

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[_Kiwii]

I like the storyline but like yeah, Maybe use descriptive words more? Also, have a “hook” that will grab the reader’s attention for the starter. Punctuation and Grammar.

Btw, This is not suppose to be offensive. It’s just an advice for the further future reference

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[KendraHawk]

The grammar is really bad and you should use descriptive words

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[lucas1901]

Thanks for the advice, I feel offended but at least it's gonna help
I had to come up with words while I'm writing

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[GLXC_AUS]

Here's a "scary story"

All I saw was red

I check into small hotel a few kilometers from Warsaw. It is late. I am tired. I tell woman at desk I want a room. She tells me room number and give key. “But one more thing comrade; there is one room without number and always lock. Don’t even peek in there.” I take key and go to room to sleep. Night comes and I hear trickling of water. It comes from the room across. I cannot sleep so I open door. It is coming from room with no number. I pound on door. No response. I look in keyhole. I see nothing except red. Water still trickling. I go down to front desk to complain. “By the way who is in that room?” She look at me and begin to tell story. There was woman in there. Murdered by her husband. Skin all white, except her eyes, which were red.

​

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[Shive]

Here's a "scary story"

All I saw was red

I check into small hotel a few kilometers from Warsaw. It is late. I am tired. I tell woman at desk I want a room. She tells me room number and give key. “But one more thing comrade; there is one room without number and always lock. Don’t even peek in there.” I take key and go to room to sleep. Night comes and I hear trickling of water. It comes from the room across. I cannot sleep so I open door. It is coming from room with no number. I pound on door. No response. I look in keyhole. I see nothing except red. Water still trickling. I go down to front desk to complain. “By the way who is in that room?” She look at me and begin to tell story. There was woman in there. Murdered by her husband. Skin all white, except her eyes, which were red.

​

Hmm, you need to work on your Grammer more. For example:

"I take key and go to room to sleep." This sentence you typed is wrong. The correct sentence should be "I take the key and go into my room to sleep." You could add more desceiptive words into is sentence if you want.

"She looked at me and begin to tell story." This sentence is wrong.
"She looked at me, and began to tell the story." It is began because you are writing it like it has happened before.

"I pound on door." This sentence is wrong.
"I pound on the door." This sentence is right, the wrong sentence contained improper Grammer.

There are many more, but these are a few I got.

TIP: Try to include more description in your story. Instead of "I check into small hotels few kilometers from Warsaw," you could say "I checked into a small hotel; it's a few kilometers from Warsaw. As I entered this hotel, I noticed the elaborate designs that covered the hotel, with the walls on the inside being mahogany colored. However, I got a strange vibe that this hotel was haunted and I was being watched."

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[mosquito1244210]

All stories were entertaining to me XD

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[GLXC_AUS]

Hmm, you need to work on your Grammer more. For example:

"I take key and go to room to sleep." This sentence you typed is wrong. The correct sentence should be "I take the key and go into my room to sleep." You could add more desceiptive words into is sentence if you want.

"She looked at me and begin to tell story." This sentence is wrong.
"She looked at me, and began to tell the story." It is began because you are writing it like it has happened before.

"I pound on door." This sentence is wrong.
"I pound on the door." This sentence is right, the wrong sentence contained improper Grammer.

There are many more, but these are a few I got.

TIP: Try to include more description in your story. Instead of "I check into small hotels few kilometers from Warsaw," you could say "I checked into a small hotel; it's a few kilometers from Warsaw. As I entered this hotel, I noticed the elaborate designs that covered the hotel, with the walls on the inside being mahogany colored. However, I got a strange vibe that this hotel was haunted and I was being watched."

You should be an english teacher. I cannot help not having an ENGLISH background.
Thank you for pointing out the mistakes.

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