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Pixie.

I may not be friends with Pixel, I may not be someone Pixel might like to be around with.
However, I do know one thing: Pixel was a good person.

Pixel’s passing was a very poignant event that a lot of people had to endure. From what I see, she was a huge contributor into the BL community who always left someone with a smile on their face. She was always there for everyone. She always gave us a shoulder to lean on, but most importantly: She was a good friend.

My thoughts and prayers are for Pixel, and anyone who has been emotionally affected by her loss. Hopefully, you will find a way to finally achieve your passions in the afterlife.

May You Rest In Peace.

- DP
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Pixie honestly was the kindest, funniest, most amazing girl - not that I need to tell anyone that. Even people who have merely said "hi" to her know that she was unbelievably special. She was beautiful inside and out. She put her friends - and even people she didn't know - first. She could send you into fits of laughter without even trying. And she was incredibly talented and intelligent. She was a true inspiration.

Pixie was an angel. She was the best. She deserved better. A whole freaking lot better.

Keep staying strong, Phoenix. We're all unbelievably proud of you. I love you both.
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It's Friday.

Friday.

I didn't notice this thread for 2 whole days. I'm so so sorry.

I honestly don't know what to say. Pixie was an absolutely amazing person. She inspired people, helped people, she was there when you needed someone most. She wrote some damn amazing stories, she said some hilarious remarks, she encouraged people to do their best and she helped them achieve just that. She made you smile on your darkest day. She made you happier than you thought possible. She made you realise that life's worth living for.

Pixie helped me so much even though I've been a pain toward both her and Pheenie, both of you accepted me and you forgave me so easily, allowed me a second chance. I don't understand why, or how, but you did. You both were accepting, forgiving. That's honestly a trait you can't find easily nowadays.

Pixie deserved so so much more. She may have wanted to be a nurse but I bet she would've been the best nurse you could ever find. She would've saved a hundreds, maybe even thousands, of lives. She would've been perfect as a nurse, both for patients with mental and physical problems.

I honestly thought that, out of all of us, Pixie would've been the one who made a name for herself, got herself recognised, had an epic life with slight fame. I thought that, out of all of us, Pixie would've had the brightest future ahead of her, especially with how hard she worked and how ernest and modest she was about it. She was absolutely brilliant.

She never deserved this.

Neither did you, Pheenie, you were amazing too. You still are, actually. You're like a blue moon, rare to find, but beautiful if you ever got a chance to catch a glimpse. You are an outstanding writer, a generous and kind-hearted person, and you probably would've made it big, too. Maybe not as a writer, that's pretty hard to earn fame from, but something else. I don't know. But you're amazing and you deserve so much.

Congratulations on everything. The rose. The award. The acceptance from that English teacher. They may seem like small things but that are achievements I never would've gotten. You are special, unique, and I hope you're doing okay. You're going to do awesome things, I promise you.

I know you're a strong person, and although Pixie's passing still lingers in the air, I think what she would've wanted is for us to all live happy lives and stop being upset. She would've wanted us to live in the moment, be happy, instead of constantly mourning her. I hope she's doing alright, wherever she is now, but she would've loved it if we kept her in our minds, but didn't think of her too much. (Ok that sounds insanely mean, I'm an ♥♥♥, but I suck with words sometimes.)

I truly hope you're doing well, Pheenie. Continue writing. You're great at it. And instead of crying, chase your dreams and make Pixie proud. <3


Lauren.
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Awee I'm crying so bad.. I understand she was nice and she didn't decerved this.. I hope she was only traumatized a little bit.. siblings love siblings.. when I was 5 years old my brother saved me from dying in the sea.. I started crying.. he is the best.. sometimes.. rest in peace sweet girl.. also you are a very good sister.. I lost my sister who is older than me when she was born and when I heard that I started crying if even I never saw her.. "I went to lose my brother too from illness" my parents tell me.. he was only 2 years old.. I feel sad for you.. I know when you are losing your best friend you feel like you are dying.. I went to be killed too from the same reason while I was walking.. my best friend-neighbor went to England.. she is coming back to her old house only the Summer.. One day I was trying to find her to play with her.. 1 month ago.. "Veronica went to England" another neighbor said. Tears covered my face.. I was crying for 3 hours and saying I'm unlucky.. for the last time I saw her the Summer and I was very happy! But few days later she left and I started crying again.. goodbye..
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Last edited:
Mintiness said:
To Be Honest When Everyone Said Rest In Peace Pixie.

She Said That She Left So I Thought She Was Lost Or Missing And Everyone Said She Passed Away? How Did She Died Because I Am Confused Since This Thread Does Not Explain Anything About Her Death That Much. ;3;
Click to expand...
Hit and run.
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I missed her. Pixie was the most popular person in the forums. ;-;
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Whisperer said:
I missed her. Pixie was the most popular person in the forums. ;-;
Click to expand...
I’m sure that you mean well, but popularity isn’t everything, and saying it like that makes it seem like Pixie was just that when she’s so much more

(Sorry for being such a stick in the mud, you had good intentions, but the wording is kinda... downgrading)
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One Last Message. said:
Pixie.
My sister, my best friend.

-*- Do Not Read If Easily Upset -*-
​
Hello.

I don’t know how to start this, because I’d never expect in my whole 13 years of living that I’d have to write something like this. Relive something like this. All of the fibres in my body tell me not to, that I shouldn’t have to repeat the pain. The memories. The memories of her. The last memories of her.
The last memories of Pixie.
I know I have to, I know I must. She would have wanted it this way. She does want it this way. An explanation. Not because I care about this stupid site, but because I care about my friends, and Pixie’s friends here.

I may as well start from the beginning. I won’t be talking about how I feel. I barely feel anything anymore. So if this isn’t fücking “real” enough for you, if you think this is a pile of bullshit, I’m omitting my emotions, my thoughts, for the sake of preventing another mental breakdown, not for your benefit.
You’re welcome.

In case you don’t know me, I’m Phoenix. @PhoenixOrNah. I was introduced to this website by @Pixel. Pixie. My sister. Pixie was popular, although she never thought of herself like that. She had friends. Friends who I eventually befriended. She made memories here, she spent most of her free time here, she helped out, she cared for everybody, she gave everybody second chances, because she was Pixie, and Pixie was, and still is, beautiful inside and out. BrokenLens made an impact on her, and I think, maybe, just maybe, she made an impact here too.

Also, before I start, I apologise for how I acted. You may have seen I wrote nonsense everywhere, swears, everything on our joined account, before leaving. I was stressed. Confused. Angry. I still am. But I was idiotic to behave that way, I was grieving, I apologise.

I don’t really remember what happened. Whenever I try to remember, it’s just a blur. I don’t know exactly how it happened either. I don’t know why it had to happen to her. Of all people. Of all people in this shîthole of a world, where violence is second nature and negativity overrules the minds of people, she had to be the one to suffer.

If I get dates wrong, I am sorry. I really am.

October, 2017.
It was late. Maybe 6-7 at night. Nobody was fighting. I think we were actually enjoying ourselves for once, as a family. Mum, Pixie and me.
It’s weird, that night, the one distinct thing I remember is Pixie at the table, finishing homework while I ate dinner next to her. Her red pen kept running out, and I kept teasing her about it, and she got stressed out (she always colour coded her work, red and blue, red for the titles, dates and headings, and blue for the information). She kept rubbing the pen quickly across her page. It made a peculiar sound, due to the friction, and for some reason I was in stitches laughing from it. And when I laugh, Pixie laughs. And don’t even get me started on her snort, I swear to god.
And that’s the only fun thing I remember we did together that night.
After a while, Mum had told Pixie to go to the shop, since we lived pretty central to everything (10 mins walk, max) , and one of the night owls were open.
I don’t remember what she asked Pixie to get, and whenever I ask she never tells me. I don’t know why.
She got her bag, her phone, and left. Simply left.
Since it’s a pretty short walk, she would usually be back soon. But she wasn’t. Which was unlike her. Very unlike her. Mum called her, texted her about five times, but no answer. We assumed her phone had died, but that was also out of the blue, since her phone is full charge literally 24/7.
It had been a long time. A very, very long time. What was supposed to be a short, 10-15 minute trip, had progressed into 30-40 minutes.
I, of course, although not wanting to admit it, began to worry. I thought she was lost, her sense of direction was terrible, (she even mistook the outside of my room for hers sometimes), and I guessed late, dark at night, her sense of direction would be even worse. But if she was lost, she would’ve called, or gone back to one of the local shops to call us, or a cab.
My mind obviously went to darker places, as I saw how panicked mum looked. We were stupid. I think we waited about 10 more minutes, the only sound being the tv, one of those stupid whole grain bread ads were playing (something that is very distinct in my memory too, from that night. I don’t understand why).
We left the house. To find her. The walk - which turned into a sprint almost - was honestly, one of the most terrible things I had done. The anticipation, my stomach had felt in knots. I knew something wasn’t right. And the darkness, the starless sky, added to that engulfing feeling. I expected to see Pixie at the night owl, sipping one of those $1 slushies we’d get after school together (blueberry and raspberry was her favourite) or adding credit to her phone. Maybe even talking to somebody she ran into. Something typical. Something Pixie would do to avoid coming home. But she wasn’t drinking a slushie. She wasn’t adding to her phone. And she definitely, was not talking to anybody.
Before everything went a blur, before the pain that caused weeks of school off, before the migraines, before the excessive crying, before the panic attacks, the blue and red lights were the last thing I saw, before everything I ever knew, changed in an instant.
Blue and red, blue and red, blue and red. The colours were painful. Almost as painful as seeing your own sister mangled between a car and a utility pole. And almost as painful watching your mum make the decision to turn your sister’s life support off.

My sister was going to be a nurse. She was going to help people, make people feel better, but most importantly, she was going to save lives. Do you know who helped her with the decision of wanting to be a nurse? Her best friend, and my best friend, @KendraHawk. She was going to save people. She was going to make the world a better place. She was going to bring life into the world, and be beside somebody when they shared their last breathe.
But she had to be the one to go. She had to be taken out of this world. A sweet, kind, beautiful girl. Had to be snatched away from me. Away from her life. Away from her future. Away from her dreams. She wasn’t ordinary, far from it. So I don’t know why she’s gone. Why she had to leave, so so incredibly early. It kills me. It hurts me. I’ll never forgive. I’ll never understand why. It hurts me so much I don’t think it’s possible. Why? Just why.

The thing that kills me, is that I don’t remember if I said goodbye or not. You don’t understand how that eats me up at night, not knowing whether I said goodbye to her or ignored her. And it was her last moment. It hurts. It hurts a lot. That’s an understatement even. Definitely an understatement. But don’t pity me, don’t feel sorry for me. I’m not worth your time.

Please, if you care about her, don’t reply with a simple “RIP” and be on your way.
She’s not dead. She’s gone, but she’s not dead, and she will never be dead. She’s alive, in my head, my heart. I hear her. I love her. I’ve always loved her.

I love you Pixie. And I always will. You helped me, from day one. You were always there for me, although I pushed you away, or tried to at least. You were the one, who supported my dreams when others belittled me, and did not. You came with me everywhere. You helped me with my highschool uniform. I’m in grade eight now, in highschool. I made it through my first year, it’s not so bad. The scary English teacher you told me about, loves me. I got exemplary marks from her. I even got a red rose off of a boy at Valentines. I even got another A+. I’m getting an award next term. This wouldn’t be possible, if you hadn’t of helped me with my uniform, my schoolbooks, my everything. I hope you’re proud of me. I’d write more, but pouring my emotions into a pixelated document is pointless. But I’ll keep writing, in your schoolbooks, I promise. I love you to the death. And we will meet again. I promise, I cross my heart. I love you. I love you. I love you so much. I would do anything for you. I hope you’re proud of me.

Pixie loves all of you. But she especially loves Kendra. Kendra, if you read this, I’m sorry for telling you what happened so immaturely. I was in pain, and you were the only one I could trust. I thank you for taking the time. I love you, Kendra. So much. Thank you. Thank you.

I love you, Pixie. My sister. My shoulder to cry on. My best friend. I can’t wait to see you, decades from now. I love you.

This is just one last message.

Goodbye BrokenLens, for good this time.

- Phoenix.
Click to expand...
I may not know who pixie is, but i have felt your pain before. that emptiness that can never be filled again. but the one thing you have that i dont have, is remembrance. i never wanted what happened in my life to happen. And i am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure she was an amazing sister.

Even though i am after she joined, stayed, and left. I give all my prayers to you, and your family, and to pixie.
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..This.. I dont know what to say.. Pixie is one of my friends.. I know i hadn't talked to her since.. But coming back with this? I feel s♥♥♥ty.. forgive me for my language but.. I'll never forget you Pixie.. You are the Magic Pixie dust THE BEST Magic pixie dust I've ever had.. I love you pixie.. I dont know What feelings i have right now.. They're mixed.. You won't ever be alone there Pixie.


~YuGiOh_Fan28
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I think pixie had stopped being active just before I joined, but i think i may have seen her.

If memory serves i don't think she liked me much because i was a tryhard, but maybe i'm thinking of the wrong person, and if she did dislike me, i'm still sad she's gone.
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