Pixie.

@xXphoenixXx @Al0ha._.Fl0 @RetroDragon @h a n e u l

Can you FREAKING NOT? A girl has passed away and you're treating this as a joke? Would you talk like this at a funeral? No. So don't talk about it like that on this thread. Do you know how much I have cried over the past few months? If you actually care about Pixie, then leave. I'm trying so hard not to get mad, but if you don't leave and talk somewhere else, I will not hold back.

Phoenix made this thread because she is an amazing person with a kind soul and a kind heart, and she knows that Pixie would want her friends to know about her passing. Phoenix lost a sister. A sister. Do you know how close she and Pixie are? Do you even know what a tiny piece of her pain feels like?
No? I thought so. Have some freaking RESPECT, and just leave. Don't reply to this message, don't reply to this thread, just leave.

You're lucky I haven't blown up, or I would have said so much more.
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To be honest , This will from now on kill me just like you Pheonix, I..Pixie for me is somebody I would have die for. Pixie was my bestfriend , Pixie was my first Crush , Pixie was my everything and probably for others too. Pixie always , like you said, been a fantastic girl who helps everyone and one day I did that mistske , that still now, after over a year hurts me to know she never got time to forgive me, I never had th chance to go back in past and change my mistake , Since then till now and probably the future this just basically kill me. I knew since the day I lost her nothing would be the same inmy life, everything got darker, thats basically when my depression start.. Nobody ever been as good as Pixie for me and I'll just join her as soon as I can, Because knowing this, destroys me

Kendra, if you see this I also have something to tell you.. I don't know why you hate me or why you dislike me but I just hope it can change before it is too late, You always been an inspiration for me and I miss you. If you read this , can you start a conversation with me? I'll reply asap..

For everyone else who will read this, think twice about posting something here.. And if you feel like your message is mean or out of context , I dont only ask, I order you to edit it to nothing or to delete it. Pixie for lot was 'the best' out here , Be mature and understand that she was something for us..not only a friend.
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KendraHawk said:
@xXphoenixXx @Al0ha._.Fl0 @RetroDragon @h a n e u l

Can you FREAKING NOT? A girl has passed away and you're treating this as a joke? Would you talk like this at a funeral? No. So don't talk about it like that on this thread. Do you know how much I have cried over the past few months? If you actually care about Pixie, then leave. I'm trying so hard not to get mad, but if you don't leave and talk somewhere else, I will not hold back.

Phoenix made this thread because she is an amazing person with a kind soul and a kind heart, and she knows that Pixie would want her friends to know about her passing. Phoenix lost a sister. A sister. Do you know how close she and Pixie are? Do you even know what a tiny piece of her pain feels like?
No? I thought so. Have some freaking RESPECT, and just leave. Don't reply to this message, don't reply to this thread, just leave.

You're lucky I haven't blown up, or I would have said so much more.
Click to expand...
Im not joking.
and plus every day, I get called freak, special ed, and more IRL FROM MY OWN FUKING FAMILY!

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURTS ME?! SO WERE IN THE SAME PAIN








And I am deeply sorry for your loss.


good-bye
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Ohmygosh.

I knew Pixel/Pixie. I wasn't her close friend, but we talked, and I would consider us friends. She was litterally the kindest, funniest, sweetest girl I've ever met. I have never had one moment with her where the thought crossed my mind that was wasn't any of those things.

I'm sorry Phoenix for your loss. There's no words that can come to my mind to honestly explain the sorrow I feel for you. I don't want to be the person who says it must've been hard and then end it there. I want to say you're just as amazing as Pixie/Pixel. She's still alive, in you, like you said. So I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry Kendra for your loss. You lost your best friend. I'm sorry you had to go through that, I'm sorry, even if it isn't my fault, bc it's no one's fault. Remember we're (BRLNS) are always here for you. I'm sorry.

❤️
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I'm so sorry about this. I'm sorry for your loss Phoenix and I can't imagine what kind of pain you must be feeling everyday. I can't imagine living if this ever happened to me.

I would consider my official join of forums on August of 2017. It was an amazing place and both Pixie and you were on a shared account and you guys seemed really fun people to talk to and you guys are nice people. I couldn't say a simple "Hai" or "Hello, how was your day?" because I was too scared. I was scared because I was an awfully lonely person at the time. I regret not talking to you guys earlier.

Sometime in the month of September, there was a smut convo and you guys were in the convo. We talked, shared smuts and I was glad I got to know you some more. Then, the account became inactive and I left some positive messages, hoping everything was OK with you and Pixie. Now I know and I now regret not joining forums earlier.

She was a bright girl and she would want you to be happy. To stay strong. She inspired of people and she will never be forgotten.

Thank you Pixie and Phoenix.

-Love, Shive
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Al0ha._.Fl0 said:
Bruh I ain’t taking as a joke omfg, IM SAYING LOL ONLY BECAUSE THIS PERSON SAID KNOW I NOW AND NOT NOW I KNOW OMFG LIKE... BRUH AND I KMOW BLAH NLAH PIXIE IS IMPORTANT OR WHAYEVER IS GOING ON BUT-IM-NOT-LAUGHING-BECAUSE-OF-THAT GOSH JEEZ U PPL ARE SO...OMFG
Click to expand...
Your comments aren't helping. Either show condolences or go.
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Wow, this crushed my heart. I may not have gotten the chance to meet pixie but I’ve seen her profile, she seems so sweet and great. I know what it’s like to get someone you love so dearly snatched away from you, I know what it’s like to see someone you love so much at their weakest, I know what it’s like to watch someone you love so much die, right in front of your eyes. it hurts so bad it can’t be explained, when someone I loved passed away I went crazy, it’s like they are on a train and your running after the train trying to catch it, you watch that train as it speeds them from your life, you just cry and cry and cry, losing someone isn’t easy at all, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. but you have to stay as strong as you can, pixie wants you to stay strong for her. Grief is the nastiest thing that will make you feel like the lowest person but create you into someone strong. When your at ur all time low, pixie will look down on you and let the sun shine. Please stay strong, I know that’s a terrible thing to say because telling someone to “stay strong” isn’t easy at all, and it’s ok, let all your anger out and cry so hard. That’s all part of grief, but you can do this, pixie is with you right now in mind, heart, and spirit. “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; He rescues those spirits that are crushed” Rip Pixie fly high❤️
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Last edited:
I wasn't reading this thread thinking it was just a normal, not-so important thread...

But now that I've read it, it's really painful.
Losing someone so close to you is something which I have experienced too.
Both of my Grandmas had died in the same year (2016)
I couldn't even attend one of their funerals.
All I could do is cry


And here, your sister has gone.
Someone so close to you.

Hopefully, you'll meet her one day.

Best of luck, stay strong.
Do not give up.
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The Two Special Girls I Have Always Wanted To Meet. My Forums Account May Be A Joke But These Words Coming From Me Are NOT A Joke And I Mean All These Words. You Two Are Special To Everyone, You Have Beautiful Personality’s. This Hurts Me Inside. I Should Have Said Hello To You Guys. Pixie Will Never Be Forgotten Here Or In Real Life. She Made A Beautiful Impact Here And In Real Life. I Hope Your Tears Fade To Smiles When You Think Of Her In The Future, Remembering All The Good Times. Stay Strong Please Pheonix, Do It For Yourself, Everyone You Love, And Most Importantly Stay Strong For Pixie. Rest In Peace Pixie And Fly High.
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My head is still spinning from this. Pixie is a really great and close friend, and her sunny disposition was pretty much contagious, she's helped me so much, and been such an inspiration to everyone. Honestly, it's such fun to talk to her. I remember when we talked about which one of us was dumber for making weird food combinations, and when we'd play tnt run together and she'll always win. She was just... wonderful, and I'm sure all of her friends and family thinks that. We won't forget her, ever, and Pixie will always be in our hearts.

And Phoenix, you're amazing, too, don't forget that, it's really brave and noble of you to make a thread explaining it and keeping Pixie's memory alive, and I know you will work through it. Always stay the way you are and persevere
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Pixie, I don't really know you. I joined forums after you left, but I wished I got a chance to know you. From all the stories I've heard, I heard you were this great, amazing person. You were kind, and you left such a good impression on everyone.
Phoenix, losing someone important as important as your sister must be tough. I understand. I been in your place, I lost someone really important to me.
But I like how you manage to have the courage to create this thread. I admire that. Having such bravery... Some people can't even pull. You must be in pain, but you're right. I know Pixie may not be here, but her legacy and the impression she made on people will remained here in our memories, and hearts.
Phoenix, Always stay brave.
Pixie, you will always be remembered. <3
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Ok, So my last message SOmeone made a joke from it..



so here's what im gonna say


Pixie, When I joined the forums I saw your profile around alot, and everything you said was nice, and sweet but I wondered why you had quit... I like spammed you. a few times and then around october I met Phoenix, a sweet and loving girl who was always filled with happiness. I looked at you two and saw you were very much alike. It was a short while before I found Kendra's profile, She stands her ground, and will not let anyone get in a way of her loved ones, and If I can be honest I want to be brave as kendra. when I clicked on this thread I thought It was a player report and Then I saw the really long message which I decided to read and after reading that one story over and over and over, I can't imange anything, and you may be reading this and saying "Are you stupid," well Im not.
Pixie-Even though you can't see this, everyone loves you, even me, You were to much for this world to lose, for everyone to lose, even though we never met from what I see and still do, your amazing, loving, and unique.
Phoenix-When we meet you were so kind, and sweet, So Im truly sorry for your loss, Pixie's In your heart and she know's. Becuase your in her's
Kendra- first off, Im sorry, 1.for being disrespectful, and going off topic, I'm so sorry for what happend to you, You lost someone you loved, My condolences.

@Al0ha._.Fl0 - ARE YOU SERIOUS?. A GIRL HAS DIED AN YOUR TAKING A FREAKING GRAMMER MISTAKE AS A JOKE?! AND STARTING A FIGHT ON HERE?! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, SO IF YOU HAVE NOTHING GOOD OR NICE TO SAY.... THEN LEAVE, IF THIS IS JUST A JOKE TO YOU!

I mean it, Sorry for your loss <3

~Retro
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One Last Message. said:
Pixie.
My sister, my best friend.

-*- Do Not Read If Easily Upset -*-
​
Hello.

I don’t know how to start this, because I’d never expect in my whole 13 years of living that I’d have to write something like this. Relive something like this. All of the fibres in my body tell me not to, that I shouldn’t have to repeat the pain. The memories. The memories of her. The last memories of her.
The last memories of Pixie.
I know I have to, I know I must. She would have wanted it this way. She does want it this way. An explanation. Not because I care about this stupid site, but because I care about my friends, and Pixie’s friends here.

I may as well start from the beginning. I won’t be talking about how I feel. I barely feel anything anymore. So if this isn’t fücking “real” enough for you, if you think this is a pile of bullshit, I’m omitting my emotions, my thoughts, for the sake of preventing another mental breakdown, not for your benefit.
You’re welcome.

In case you don’t know me, I’m Phoenix. @PhoenixOrNah. I was introduced to this website by @Pixel. Pixie. My sister. Pixie was popular, although she never thought of herself like that. She had friends. Friends who I eventually befriended. She made memories here, she spent most of her free time here, she helped out, she cared for everybody, she gave everybody second chances, because she was Pixie, and Pixie was, and still is, beautiful inside and out. BrokenLens made an impact on her, and I think, maybe, just maybe, she made an impact here too.

Also, before I start, I apologise for how I acted. You may have seen I wrote nonsense everywhere, swears, everything on our joined account, before leaving. I was stressed. Confused. Angry. I still am. But I was idiotic to behave that way, I was grieving, I apologise.

I don’t really remember what happened. Whenever I try to remember, it’s just a blur. I don’t know exactly how it happened either. I don’t know why it had to happen to her. Of all people. Of all people in this shîthole of a world, where violence is second nature and negativity overrules the minds of people, she had to be the one to suffer.

If I get dates wrong, I am sorry. I really am.

October, 2017.
It was late. Maybe 6-7 at night. Nobody was fighting. I think we were actually enjoying ourselves for once, as a family. Mum, Pixie and me.
It’s weird, that night, the one distinct thing I remember is Pixie at the table, finishing homework while I ate dinner next to her. Her red pen kept running out, and I kept teasing her about it, and she got stressed out (she always colour coded her work, red and blue, red for the titles, dates and headings, and blue for the information). She kept rubbing the pen quickly across her page. It made a peculiar sound, due to the friction, and for some reason I was in stitches laughing from it. And when I laugh, Pixie laughs. And don’t even get me started on her snort, I swear to god.
And that’s the only fun thing I remember we did together that night.
After a while, Mum had told Pixie to go to the shop, since we lived pretty central to everything (10 mins walk, max) , and one of the night owls were open.
I don’t remember what she asked Pixie to get, and whenever I ask she never tells me. I don’t know why.
She got her bag, her phone, and left. Simply left.
Since it’s a pretty short walk, she would usually be back soon. But she wasn’t. Which was unlike her. Very unlike her. Mum called her, texted her about five times, but no answer. We assumed her phone had died, but that was also out of the blue, since her phone is full charge literally 24/7.
It had been a long time. A very, very long time. What was supposed to be a short, 10-15 minute trip, had progressed into 30-40 minutes.
I, of course, although not wanting to admit it, began to worry. I thought she was lost, her sense of direction was terrible, (she even mistook the outside of my room for hers sometimes), and I guessed late, dark at night, her sense of direction would be even worse. But if she was lost, she would’ve called, or gone back to one of the local shops to call us, or a cab.
My mind obviously went to darker places, as I saw how panicked mum looked. We were stupid. I think we waited about 10 more minutes, the only sound being the tv, one of those stupid whole grain bread ads were playing (something that is very distinct in my memory too, from that night. I don’t understand why).
We left the house. To find her. The walk - which turned into a sprint almost - was honestly, one of the most terrible things I had done. The anticipation, my stomach had felt in knots. I knew something wasn’t right. And the darkness, the starless sky, added to that engulfing feeling. I expected to see Pixie at the night owl, sipping one of those $1 slushies we’d get after school together (blueberry and raspberry was her favourite) or adding credit to her phone. Maybe even talking to somebody she ran into. Something typical. Something Pixie would do to avoid coming home. But she wasn’t drinking a slushie. She wasn’t adding to her phone. And she definitely, was not talking to anybody.
Before everything went a blur, before the pain that caused weeks of school off, before the migraines, before the excessive crying, before the panic attacks, the blue and red lights were the last thing I saw, before everything I ever knew, changed in an instant.
Blue and red, blue and red, blue and red. The colours were painful. Almost as painful as seeing your own sister mangled between a car and a utility pole. And almost as painful watching your mum make the decision to turn your sister’s life support off.

My sister was going to be a nurse. She was going to help people, make people feel better, but most importantly, she was going to save lives. Do you know who helped her with the decision of wanting to be a nurse? Her best friend, and my best friend, @KendraHawk. She was going to save people. She was going to make the world a better place. She was going to bring life into the world, and be beside somebody when they shared their last breathe.
But she had to be the one to go. She had to be taken out of this world. A sweet, kind, beautiful girl. Had to be snatched away from me. Away from her life. Away from her future. Away from her dreams. She wasn’t ordinary, far from it. So I don’t know why she’s gone. Why she had to leave, so so incredibly early. It kills me. It hurts me. I’ll never forgive. I’ll never understand why. It hurts me so much I don’t think it’s possible. Why? Just why.

The thing that kills me, is that I don’t remember if I said goodbye or not. You don’t understand how that eats me up at night, not knowing whether I said goodbye to her or ignored her. And it was her last moment. It hurts. It hurts a lot. That’s an understatement even. Definitely an understatement. But don’t pity me, don’t feel sorry for me. I’m not worth your time.

Please, if you care about her, don’t reply with a simple “RIP” and be on your way.
She’s not dead. She’s gone, but she’s not dead, and she will never be dead. She’s alive, in my head, my heart. I hear her. I love her. I’ve always loved her.

I love you Pixie. And I always will. You helped me, from day one. You were always there for me, although I pushed you away, or tried to at least. You were the one, who supported my dreams when others belittled me, and did not. You came with me everywhere. You helped me with my highschool uniform. I’m in grade eight now, in highschool. I made it through my first year, it’s not so bad. The scary English teacher you told me about, loves me. I got exemplary marks from her. I even got a red rose off of a boy at Valentines. I even got another A+. I’m getting an award next term. This wouldn’t be possible, if you hadn’t of helped me with my uniform, my schoolbooks, my everything. I hope you’re proud of me. I’d write more, but pouring my emotions into a pixelated document is pointless. But I’ll keep writing, in your schoolbooks, I promise. I love you to the death. And we will meet again. I promise, I cross my heart. I love you. I love you. I love you so much. I would do anything for you. I hope you’re proud of me.

Pixie loves all of you. But she especially loves Kendra. Kendra, if you read this, I’m sorry for telling you what happened so immaturely. I was in pain, and you were the only one I could trust. I thank you for taking the time. I love you, Kendra. So much. Thank you. Thank you.

I love you, Pixie. My sister. My shoulder to cry on. My best friend. I can’t wait to see you, decades from now. I love you.

This is just one last message.

Goodbye BrokenLens, for good this time.

- Phoenix.
Click to expand...
I have never heard of @Pixie at all, but I do feel bad. As I was reading this, my first thought of what happened to her was the she was just busy getting things and it was busy at the shop. But I read on and saw what really happened.
I know you said don't be sorry for you, but I can't help feeling sorry for you anyway, as I almost know what it is like losing a sister.
This also said don't read if you are easily upset, and I was like ok. I'm not usually upset, but this was overwhelming. I...I did sit where I am for 12 minutes crying.
Sorry about your loss.

~Adam A.
(L.E.N.)​
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I don't know what to say. I thank you all, so incredibly much, from the bottom of my heart, for all of these kind, loving, heartfelt messages. It makes me happy that you all cared, and still do care about her, so much. As I write this, and as I read your replies, your beautiful replies, tears run down my face. But I feel different. They're different tears. Happy tears. And that's something I can say I haven't had in a very long time. I wish I could reply to you all individually, but that would take ages, and it'd probably make my head a whir. Please know, that I appreciate your messages, and you all, so much.

We were all strangers. Pixie was a stranger to you all. But now, almost a year later, and she had grown bonds with all of you. I thank you all for making her feel happy, for making her smile. She loved each and every one of you. And she still does.

These messages are truly magnificent and they make my heart leap. If Pixie was here, well, you know her -- she'd be in a blubbery mess, denying all of the nice things said about her, and probably calling somebody a "silly pickle" or "freakin' doorknob" for thinking those things. For knowing those things, more like.

Please acknowledge, that even when somebody says a simple "sorry for your loss. stay strong" it means the world to me. It means the world to Pixie.

The love Pixie has for you all is indecipherable.

Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.
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I might have never met her but just imagining this tragedy happening to my little sister or to me would be devastating. Why do the nicest people on Earth have to pass away? I'm sorry for your loss. Always remember that she is always by your side everytime.
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