seacosmos
Notable Member
- Apr 22, 2017
- 8,823
- 62,578
title:
the 20th of September, 2018
if you asked me,
"what has been the worst day
of your life?"
before today,
i wouldn't have an answer.
i have had many bad days,
and i don't doubt that others have too,
but sometimes i wonder,
who is more important, me? -
or those starving kids in Africa.
because those kids are suffering,
but i am suffering too.
they are going through the worst time in their life,
but i am going through that, too.
our suffering is different,
yet we feel the same.
we feel
lost
alone
tired
hungry
sad.
today, i realised something important.
and i wish i hadn't
ignorance is bliss, they say,
and it really is.
it really is.
today, there was a new kid.
he looks good, i'll admit.
but what i never will,
is that we fit together.
do you know why?
it's because we don't.
it's like forcing two jigsaw pieces together,
when they aren't meant to be.
and that's the same
with me
and everyone.
i don't fit in,
i'm not like them,
i don't have the same taste,
i don't relate with them.
i don't like gossip
or football
or Shawn Mendes
or BTS
i like debating
and being alone,
and twenty one pilots
and cavetown
barely anyone i know likes
what i like
and that
is where we are different
that is where
my friends and i do not fit
that is where
i will never find someone
who's the jigsaw piece that will fit.
context.
1. today my friend told me to do something, and i did what he asked. when i tried to approach him to tell him i'd done it, he pushed me away. he was talking to someone else. they were gossiping about some girl and her outfit. they weren't saying good things about it. this 'friend' of mine is the same one who says he 'loves' me. this is the same friend who i, stupidly, liked for a good year, while not knowing how dark he really is.
2. today there was a new student, and his name is Come (pronounced with a French accent). of course everybody took advantage of this. yet, they still accepted him, letting him into their lives, almost as soon as they were introduced. he differs to me in that my first day was a day of dirty looks. questioning looks. and no friends.
why?
because Come likes football. and i don't. - he likes something that the majority likes, while i don't.
because he looks good. i look like a failed science project.
because he is 'normal'. and i am not.
3. today my music teacher put us into groups, and sent us off into practice rooms. my team was fine until he added this guy. look, i have nothing against this guy, except he gets on my nerves sometimes. today was one of those 'sometimes'.
first, he commented on my tempo when i was playing the keyboard. he commented on what i was playing. he called it rubbish, when the teacher told us to make a melody by playing whatever we wanted, but using only 5 notes (C, E, A, G and D#). and that's what i did - play whatever i wanted. and yeah. maybe it was rubbish. but he acted like i was a professional player when i am not.
secondly, he called me dumb. he says he is smarter than me. and maybe he is. i will not doubt that there is a possibility that he is. yet he is always the one asking me questions. 'how do you do this?' 'what does this mean?' 'is this how it works?' it does not make sense to me.
thirdly, he says he is depressed. and sometimes i doubt that. he tells me that i am dumb, that i am incapable of doing things, that i am useless in certain things, he thinks he is higher than me.
i do not think that is how a depressed mind would work.
but maybe i'm wrong
maybe he is right.
but right now i do not want to have anything to do with him.
as well as the guy i mentioned above.
and the new kid.
and everyone in this enraging hell hole that is my school. especially the ones in my year group.
everyone except two people.
but that is for another day. another edgy poetry day that is not today.
have a nice day.
the 20th of September, 2018
if you asked me,
"what has been the worst day
of your life?"
before today,
i wouldn't have an answer.
i have had many bad days,
and i don't doubt that others have too,
but sometimes i wonder,
who is more important, me? -
or those starving kids in Africa.
because those kids are suffering,
but i am suffering too.
they are going through the worst time in their life,
but i am going through that, too.
our suffering is different,
yet we feel the same.
we feel
lost
alone
tired
hungry
sad.
today, i realised something important.
and i wish i hadn't
ignorance is bliss, they say,
and it really is.
it really is.
today, there was a new kid.
he looks good, i'll admit.
but what i never will,
is that we fit together.
do you know why?
it's because we don't.
it's like forcing two jigsaw pieces together,
when they aren't meant to be.
and that's the same
with me
and everyone.
i don't fit in,
i'm not like them,
i don't have the same taste,
i don't relate with them.
i don't like gossip
or football
or Shawn Mendes
or BTS
i like debating
and being alone,
and twenty one pilots
and cavetown
barely anyone i know likes
what i like
and that
is where we are different
that is where
my friends and i do not fit
that is where
i will never find someone
who's the jigsaw piece that will fit.
context.
1. today my friend told me to do something, and i did what he asked. when i tried to approach him to tell him i'd done it, he pushed me away. he was talking to someone else. they were gossiping about some girl and her outfit. they weren't saying good things about it. this 'friend' of mine is the same one who says he 'loves' me. this is the same friend who i, stupidly, liked for a good year, while not knowing how dark he really is.
2. today there was a new student, and his name is Come (pronounced with a French accent). of course everybody took advantage of this. yet, they still accepted him, letting him into their lives, almost as soon as they were introduced. he differs to me in that my first day was a day of dirty looks. questioning looks. and no friends.
why?
because Come likes football. and i don't. - he likes something that the majority likes, while i don't.
because he looks good. i look like a failed science project.
because he is 'normal'. and i am not.
3. today my music teacher put us into groups, and sent us off into practice rooms. my team was fine until he added this guy. look, i have nothing against this guy, except he gets on my nerves sometimes. today was one of those 'sometimes'.
first, he commented on my tempo when i was playing the keyboard. he commented on what i was playing. he called it rubbish, when the teacher told us to make a melody by playing whatever we wanted, but using only 5 notes (C, E, A, G and D#). and that's what i did - play whatever i wanted. and yeah. maybe it was rubbish. but he acted like i was a professional player when i am not.
secondly, he called me dumb. he says he is smarter than me. and maybe he is. i will not doubt that there is a possibility that he is. yet he is always the one asking me questions. 'how do you do this?' 'what does this mean?' 'is this how it works?' it does not make sense to me.
thirdly, he says he is depressed. and sometimes i doubt that. he tells me that i am dumb, that i am incapable of doing things, that i am useless in certain things, he thinks he is higher than me.
i do not think that is how a depressed mind would work.
but maybe i'm wrong
maybe he is right.
but right now i do not want to have anything to do with him.
as well as the guy i mentioned above.
and the new kid.
and everyone in this enraging hell hole that is my school. especially the ones in my year group.
everyone except two people.
but that is for another day. another edgy poetry day that is not today.
have a nice day.
honestly i think my mental state right now is much better than what it was last year so yeah. thanks again though 
and once u overcome all this negativity, things are gonna get (are getting) better and hopefully that is soon : 333
although most of the time, my team sucks, so yeah.. ;-;
