a little story

[Hollowed]

I ran as fast as I could on that cool summer day running until I got to my house it was strange no one was around it was kinda creepy I grabbed my keys to unlock my door to feel it get even colder I looked outside for the last time to realize what was following me a shadow as tall as a teenage boy then suddenly everything went black.
im up I yelled to my mom.
forgetting all about the dream. go with your friends my mom yelled back I want you out of the house. yes mom okay the party doesn't start until six okay as I got dressed.
I looked on my phone to notice how many missed calls I got from a number I don't know ill just set this to the side as I smiled and walked out the door.
Hi sandy I called to my best friend who lived next-door.
how many cute guys you think well meet tonight sandy said. I don't know I'm still a little crushed by Slade I said sadly. it was only four and sandy and I were still getting ready hurry up sandy exclaimed were gonna be late I laughed we still have an hour I know I know sandy replied back I'm just worried okay
about who I said with a really big grin on my face you know who sandy said
oh yeah I said still smiling Zack. it was six me and sandy still in our high heels and dresses ran all the way to the party. and that when I remembered my dream because the shadow in my dream was welcoming me into his house.

 

[ComplexSanta]

Good!

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[Strel]

I ran as fast as I could on that cool summer day, running until I got to my house. It was strange, no one was around and it was kind of creepy. I grabbed my keys to unlock my door to feel it get even colder. I looked outside for the last time to realize what was following me: A shadow as tall as a teenage boy. Then suddenly everything went black.
"I'm up," I yelled to my mom.
Forgetting all about the dream.
"Go with your friends!" my mom yelled back, "I want you out of the house."
"Yes mom, okay the party doesn't start until six, okay?" as I got dressed. I looked on my phone to notice how many missed calls I got from a number I don't know. "I'll just set this to the side," as I smiled and walked out the door.
"Hi sandy!" I called to my best friend who lived next-door.
"How many cute guys you think we'll meet tonight?" Sandy asked.
"I don't know, I'm still a little crushed by Slade," I said sadly. It was only four and Sandy and I were still getting ready.
"Hurry up," Sandy exclaimed "We're gonna be late!"
I laughed, "we still have an hour,"
"I know, I know," Sandy replied back, "I'm just worried, okay?"
"About who?" I said with a really big grin on my face.
"You know who," Sandy said.
"Oh yeah," I said still smiling about Zack. It was six. Sandy and I, still in our high heels and dresses, ran all the way to the party. That's when I remembered my dream because the shadow in my dream was welcoming me into his house.

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[AllyMac_]

Good writing- I agree with the changes Strel made in punctuation. :3

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