》●The Land of Lies●《 Chapter I

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"THE LAND OF LIES"
By : Jelourd
In 1978, harry told his sister to find his Magical book, And she gived it to Harry, Then after that, Harry opened his book and saw a picture then he entered to the picture of a powerful kingdom, calling it "The land of Lies". He was shocked then he can't believe for seeing this Kingdom he is like only in his dream or imagination. Harry was entered to the kingdom, and he saw too many precious golden things, he said "Wow! , I only see this for the first time!, I want to be a rich man.." He saw a stairs then he go there, later, he saw a King with too many golden things surrounding to him and he had a royal crown with jewerly, and he planned to robbed it, but suddenly, the king saw him, and he brought near to king throne, and
there were three bavarians surrounding the king's throne, And the king told his name to Harry, and the name of King is King Carylan II, and harry said "Oh dear King , my name is Harry" Then King Carylan said to Harry is "Welcome to my powerful kingdom, this is called "The Land of Lies", Harry, you agreed to our Tour Kingdom?" Harry said "Oh dear king, of course yes", King Carylan said "Let's go" , Harry is was excited to see some interesting precious things in inside of kingdom while he roaming around in the kingdom with King. King Carylan showed to Harry's new room, then Harry want to become King next, but the King doesn't agreed, King Carylan said "Harry, follow my missions tomorrow , i'll give you a rewards" Harry said, "Oh thank you, dear King" King Carylan said "No problem, just sleep tightly to your softly bed, good night!" At the next morning, King Carylan prepared for Harry missions. Harry woked up and he goes in near to the king thrones, King Carylan said "Harry i have commands for you, if all of my commands is completed, i'll give you a rewards" Harry said "dear king, im 100% sure to complete your commands", King Carylan said "This is your first command : Can you harvest the apples in my backyard" Harry said "Ok dear king, i can do this" , He grabbed the baskets and he is ready to harvest it. He was harvested all apples in Backyard , and then he gaved it to king , he collected 150 apples! King Carylan said "Oh thank you Harry for following my command, this is your second command : Can you build the fountain in my backyard? Make sure, after 5 hours, your fountain is done" Harry was afraid , because he know is possible to build a fountain in 5 hours.. Harry said "Ok dear King, i will build a fountain for you". Harry was grabbed the shovel, stones and clays, he was digged first and he realize, the time in Kingdom was only "Lying" means the time is not moving but the daylight and nighttime is changing, he continued to build a fountain, he took 12 hours to make the fountain, and he called the King and the king was shocked, King Carylan said "Wow! This is the most wonderful fountain i've ever seen!" Harry said "Thank you Dear king" King Carylan said "This is your last command : Can you plant this wheat seeds, make sure if i woked up, the wheat is now harvested and baked it and place it to my table, this seed is a wheat bread" Harry was thinking again, but he continous it, he grabbed a shovel and digged, he planted all seed, and suddenly genuine was appeared, and its said "Hey Harry, what are you doing now?" Harry was shocked and he said "Could you help me please? I need to harvest it and baked it as bread before the king waked up" The genuine were make to grew up all wheat and harvested and baked itself. Harry was thank into genuine. At the next morning, the King were goes to the table and he was shocked to see the bread is now already harvested and baked, The king called Harry , and the king Carylan said "Good job Harry, for following my commands, You are now a my new Prince of this kingdom!" Harry said, "Thank you Dear king, This is my golden day!"

The End..

Chapter II is soon















Rate this story!
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Thanks for reading this story! :)
 
I'd say 3 or 4, good story, but the grammar isn't very good.

Otherwise thumbs up!
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I mean, the grammar could use some work so some spots are hard to understand.
View reply.
 
"THE LAND OF LIES"
By : Jelourd
In 1978, harry told his sister to find his Magical book, And she gived it to Harry, Then after that, Harry opened his book and saw a picture then he entered to the picture of a powerful kingdom, calling it "The land of Lies". He was shocked then he can't believe for seeing this Kingdom he is like only in his dream or imagination. Harry was entered to the kingdom, and he saw too many precious golden things, he said "Wow! , I only see this for the first time!, I want to be a rich man.." He saw a stairs then he go there, later, he saw a King with too many golden things surrounding to him and he had a royal crown with jewerly, and he planned to robbed it, but suddenly, the king saw him, and he brought near to king throne, and
there were three bavarians surrounding the king's throne, And the king told his name to Harry, and the name of King is King Carylan II, and harry said "Oh dear King , my name is Harry" Then King Carylan said to Harry is "Welcome to my powerful kingdom, this is called "The Land of Lies", Harry, you agreed to our Tour Kingdom?" Harry said "Oh dear king, of course yes", King Carylan said "Let's go" , Harry is was excited to see some interesting precious things in inside of kingdom while he roaming around in the kingdom with King. King Carylan showed to Harry's new room, then Harry want to become King next, but the King doesn't agreed, King Carylan said "Harry, follow my missions tomorrow , i'll give you a rewards" Harry said, "Oh thank you, dear King" King Carylan said "No problem, just sleep tightly to your softly bed, good night!" At the next morning, King Carylan prepared for Harry missions. Harry woked up and he goes in near to the king thrones, King Carylan said "Harry i have commands for you, if all of my commands is completed, i'll give you a rewards" Harry said "dear king, im 100% sure to complete your commands", King Carylan said "This is your first command : Can you harvest the apples in my backyard" Harry said "Ok dear king, i can do this" , He grabbed the baskets and he is ready to harvest it. He was harvested all apples in Backyard , and then he gaved it to king , he collected 150 apples! King Carylan said "Oh thank you Harry for following my command, this is your second command : Can you build the fountain in my backyard? Make sure, after 5 hours, your fountain is done" Harry was afraid , because he know is possible to build a fountain in 5 hours.. Harry said "Ok dear King, i will build a fountain for you". Harry was grabbed the shovel, stones and clays, he was digged first and he realize, the time in Kingdom was only "Lying" means the time is not moving but the daylight and nighttime is changing, he continued to build a fountain, he took 12 hours to make the fountain, and he called the King and the king was shocked, King Carylan said "Wow! This is the most wonderful fountain i've ever seen!" Harry said "Thank you Dear king" King Carylan said "This is your last command : Can you plant this wheat seeds, make sure if i woked up, the wheat is now harvested and baked it and place it to my table, this seed is a wheat bread" Harry was thinking again, but he continous it, he grabbed a shovel and digged, he planted all seed, and suddenly genuine was appeared, and its said "Hey Harry, what are you doing now?" Harry was shocked and he said "Could you help me please? I need to harvest it and baked it as bread before the king waked up" The genuine were make to grew up all wheat and harvested and baked itself. Harry was thank into genuine. At the next morning, the King were goes to the table and he was shocked to see the bread is now already harvested and baked, The king called Harry , and the king Carylan said "Good job Harry, for following my commands, You are now a my new Prince of this kingdom!" Harry said, "Thank you Dear king, This is my golden day!"

The End..

Chapter II is soon















Rate this story!
☆☆☆☆☆
☆☆☆☆
☆☆☆
☆☆


Thanks for reading this story! :)
Good story, I just think if you would work on the grammar a bit so it would sound better!
But otherwise, it sounds good:thumbsup:.
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