karmatic
Notable Member
- Jan 19, 2018
- 13,449
- 50,466
Link back to Story Comp:
https://brokenlens.xyz/forums/threads/story-comp.74119/
Diavent’s Story
Everyone gathers around the campfire, listening to the crackles and pops it makes along with the sweet smell of smores. Cheerful songs burst out with a guitar and drunk singers, waving their red cups around as if they didn’t have a care in the world. As I make my way through the crowd to find a more quiet and cooler place, I see people having a great time with just their small groups of friends. They laugh at each other’s jokes, gossip about the ones they hate, and do the stupid things most friend groups do.
I finally settle on a quiet, cool spot near the edge of the woods. I look out into the night sky, with the full moon shining bright and glistening, reflecting from the water below it. Leaves crunch behind me heavily, snapping a few twigs as the noise gets closer. “I already know, you’re trying to scare me, dude. Don’t even try.” I say as I slowly turn around to look at him.
“What reward do you want, detective?” he asks me jokingly.
“Shut up.”
“So,” he takes a sip of his soda can. “What are you doing out here all alone, girly?”
“Just thinking…”
“Thinking about what? Perhaps thinking about him?”
“Wow, you want a lollipop, detective?”
“Dang, alright alright. Calm down. I’m sorry I’m a better detective than you.”
“When do you ever stop talking?”
“Until the day I die.”
For a few minutes, everything stops between the two of us. A heavy silence fills the air, only leaving the faint sounds of everyone else having fun singing along to each other’s ballads. We stay in the moment together, not bothering the stillness of it all.
“So…” he interrupts. “Him?”
“What about him? Got a problem?”
“Yeah.. what do you even see in him? Who is he, anyway?”
“So you are a detective, after all?”
“No, I’m just asking the important questions.”
“Okay… then since we are asking important questions… Then why did you follow me out here?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Let’s make a deal,” he begins. “You tell me what you see in this dude, and if I guess who it is correctly, I’ll tell you why I followed you here.”
“That’s a horrible deal.”
“A horrible deal to you, but not to me.”
“Alright… I accept the deal.”
“Good choice, m’lady. Now… what do you even see in him?”
“Well… I see my source of happiness and my cure to loneliness-”
“Seems pretty lame, now who is he?”
“I didn’t finish. Besides, you have to guess,” I respond. “Anyway… he’s also pretty funny and cool to be around. He never fails to make me laugh, and knows what to say, and do, when I’m down. He… has this spark… in him that makes him different from everyone else.”
“Is… he someone you know?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I don’t know him, then. It was nice trying to figure it out. Guess you don’t know my answer.”
He begins to stand up.
“You’re so dumb, sometimes.” I tell him.
“Excuse me?”
“You,” I let out. “It’s been you… You’re him.”
He stares down at me with some sort of expression on his face. It wasn’t embarrassment, or regret, or shock. He seems happy.
“So I’ve been him this whole time?” He asks.
“Yes.”
“Well, it’s a good thing that I actually came out here to ask you to dance with me. And if you wanted to be my girlfriend, but I know you don’t like sappy things, so… Come on. I know you’re going to say yes, so let’s just go.”
He holds out his hand to me, offering to help me up. As we get back to the noise of the party, everyone lets out their last party anthem before slowing down to something more classic. “How about this one?” the guitarist says. As he begins strumming the first few chords, the drunken choir begins to sing, “Wise men say only fools rush in. But I can’t help falling in love with you…”
He looks at me. “May I have this dance?”
“Of course.”
We begin to freely dance with each other to the slowed lyrics. “Take my hand, take my whole life, too. ‘Cause I can’t help falling in love with you. ‘Cause I can’t help falling in love with you… but I can’t help falling in love with you.”
https://brokenlens.xyz/forums/threads/story-comp.74119/
Diavent’s Story
Everyone gathers around the campfire, listening to the crackles and pops it makes along with the sweet smell of smores. Cheerful songs burst out with a guitar and drunk singers, waving their red cups around as if they didn’t have a care in the world. As I make my way through the crowd to find a more quiet and cooler place, I see people having a great time with just their small groups of friends. They laugh at each other’s jokes, gossip about the ones they hate, and do the stupid things most friend groups do.
I finally settle on a quiet, cool spot near the edge of the woods. I look out into the night sky, with the full moon shining bright and glistening, reflecting from the water below it. Leaves crunch behind me heavily, snapping a few twigs as the noise gets closer. “I already know, you’re trying to scare me, dude. Don’t even try.” I say as I slowly turn around to look at him.
“What reward do you want, detective?” he asks me jokingly.
“Shut up.”
“So,” he takes a sip of his soda can. “What are you doing out here all alone, girly?”
“Just thinking…”
“Thinking about what? Perhaps thinking about him?”
“Wow, you want a lollipop, detective?”
“Dang, alright alright. Calm down. I’m sorry I’m a better detective than you.”
“When do you ever stop talking?”
“Until the day I die.”
For a few minutes, everything stops between the two of us. A heavy silence fills the air, only leaving the faint sounds of everyone else having fun singing along to each other’s ballads. We stay in the moment together, not bothering the stillness of it all.
“So…” he interrupts. “Him?”
“What about him? Got a problem?”
“Yeah.. what do you even see in him? Who is he, anyway?”
“So you are a detective, after all?”
“No, I’m just asking the important questions.”
“Okay… then since we are asking important questions… Then why did you follow me out here?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Let’s make a deal,” he begins. “You tell me what you see in this dude, and if I guess who it is correctly, I’ll tell you why I followed you here.”
“That’s a horrible deal.”
“A horrible deal to you, but not to me.”
“Alright… I accept the deal.”
“Good choice, m’lady. Now… what do you even see in him?”
“Well… I see my source of happiness and my cure to loneliness-”
“Seems pretty lame, now who is he?”
“I didn’t finish. Besides, you have to guess,” I respond. “Anyway… he’s also pretty funny and cool to be around. He never fails to make me laugh, and knows what to say, and do, when I’m down. He… has this spark… in him that makes him different from everyone else.”
“Is… he someone you know?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I don’t know him, then. It was nice trying to figure it out. Guess you don’t know my answer.”
He begins to stand up.
“You’re so dumb, sometimes.” I tell him.
“Excuse me?”
“You,” I let out. “It’s been you… You’re him.”
He stares down at me with some sort of expression on his face. It wasn’t embarrassment, or regret, or shock. He seems happy.
“So I’ve been him this whole time?” He asks.
“Yes.”
“Well, it’s a good thing that I actually came out here to ask you to dance with me. And if you wanted to be my girlfriend, but I know you don’t like sappy things, so… Come on. I know you’re going to say yes, so let’s just go.”
He holds out his hand to me, offering to help me up. As we get back to the noise of the party, everyone lets out their last party anthem before slowing down to something more classic. “How about this one?” the guitarist says. As he begins strumming the first few chords, the drunken choir begins to sing, “Wise men say only fools rush in. But I can’t help falling in love with you…”
He looks at me. “May I have this dance?”
“Of course.”
We begin to freely dance with each other to the slowed lyrics. “Take my hand, take my whole life, too. ‘Cause I can’t help falling in love with you. ‘Cause I can’t help falling in love with you… but I can’t help falling in love with you.”