gosh, pixie, you had so much talent. so, so, so much. i hope you know that it didn't go to waste. understand that it was unfair, it was tragic, it was despicable - you deserved a long, fulfilling life. you deserved everything the world could never give to you.
there is so much that i feel like i need to say to you, so many emotions that i need to pour into words, i just don't know how to articulate them. i wouldn't consider myself an eloquent person at all, but you were.
life is unforgiving; it's taking so much out of me to come to terms with the fact that you were fated to be a part of my past. but i'm set on making you an everlasting part of my future too; i will carry all that you were with me until my very last days. every memory we created is ingrained into...
i mean.. who would i be now, if you were still here? who would you be now? who would WE be? i wish i could at least form some hopeless idea or get a glimpse of an alternate universe where you were still around. but that's just not to be and it's taking a great deal to accept that.
i wonder what we'd be like now. it crosses my mind more often than you may think. but i'll never know, will i? it will forever be a fragment of my imagination, one of my unattainable dreams.
i wish you could tell me all of yours and phoenix's crazy stories, i wish we could talk and talk for hours about childhood shows, i wish we could argue about which chocolate is the best.
it's that time of year again, isn't it? today is your eighteenth birthday. eighteen. you would be an adult.. how crazy is that to think about, huh? think of all the things you could be doing. all of the memories we so badly deserved to make together.
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