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DUMBLEDORRE!

ron, ron, ron WEAS-LEY

hey i found da ticking noise!
ITS A PIPE BOMB!!!
YAYYYYY

Voldemort, Voldemort, ooh Voldy Voldy Voldy

Hello Im Harry Potter
My life is great and envyable
but let me tell you it aint all a goblet of pumpkin juice
i have seen some s♥♥♥
ive been orphaned, abused and attacked
i have mental scars
so while i may be handsome and successful in my day life
it is at night when i cant escape from the terrible images that bounce around in the dark cavern that is my tortured nogin
like this one time i had a horrible nihtmare

so i was just hangin out being awesome when snape showed up and he was all like mr potter ur flunking potions class
what are ur college plans
but he just kept getting angrier and angrier and angrier
finally he flipped out and tryed to kill me with a hammer

another time i dreamt that i was dancing
it was beautiful
i was so gr8
but then voldemort showed up and he started to upstage me
he did moves id never seen b4
and all the girls were like ooohhh hes so cool
so i tried to bust a sweet move in retaliation but suddenly my feet couldnt move
it sucked

another nightmare i had i was pregnent and i went into labor and i gave birth to ron and i had to raise him frm infancy
clothe him, feed him
but then i misplaced him
this was terrifying because it meant i had failed as a parent

oh! and 1 time i dreamt that hermione was addicted to antfetimeans
she kept going thru my stuff trying to find things to hawk
but ron and i held an intervention
but hermione flipped out and tried to kill us with a hammer

and another time i dreamt that i was middle aged
yuuck!