BrokenLens Forums

grateful i'm still sane

thank you

(sorry i'm chronically on this forum page now, so i saw that one too) i'm really glad you're doing better now though, i know recovery can be hard and that sounds like a lot. i'm not familiar with any of that stuff, so i can't say much else but really - you've come a long way and it looks like you already have a bright future ahead

i'm chronically here as well, it's so hard to let go lmao, and thank you for the kind words trust me stay that way, drugs are never worth abandoning yourself over

it really is, i accepted that BRLNS was gone forever and ofc when i forgot about it i get an email anyways yeah i'll stay away and hope you stay well too

it's always been on my mind one way or another ever since i first joined the forums

that's fair - i strained my relationships by constantly leaving (2018,2019,2020) to the point that me coming back any other time would just continue the cycle and make things worse. that's why i forced myself to forget instead. i can't really fix things anymore, but its nice seeing everyone doing better and reconnecting

anyways i'm getting off your profile now, completely went off topic lol. the whole point was to say congrats

there will be some things you won't be able to repair and that's fine, i find that to be the case too

what really matters is what you do afterwards

i wanted to say sorry if i ever contributed to you leaving, there was a long stretch of time starting around 2019 where i was really really mean to pretty much everyone i came across, and i remember you being one of the people who experienced some of that

and you're fine being on my profile, i don't think i'll ever stop posting so long as the forums is still up
i want to make something of a memorial for myself with my profile so i can always remember how bad it got and what i did afterwards

no it was definitely not your fault i left at all, really shouldn't mention it but i was stuck in an abusive family situation that constantly put me in fight or flight mode.

i remember your friend reaching out to me about what you were going through, unfortunately i didn't quite understand at the time.

also this is dumb BUT i was going to reach out to you in the past, but i genuinely didn't know this was your account... i only recognized your past two accounts and that's also why i was confused when you commented on my profile a few days ago lol

i get living in an abusive situation, so you're good
my father was an awful person, and my mother pretty much emotionally abandoned me, so i ended up suffering quite a bit which i'd rather not post about publicly

no matter how bad it was for me it still didn't justify my behavior towards you or anyone else, i should have responded to my situation in a healthier way

it's not dumb to want to reach out lmao i'm glad we got to reconnect regardless. when you told me you didn't recognize me, i felt it wasn't right to remind you who i was

yeah i also didn't want to post publicly - there's a lot to say about those situations though </3