BrokenLens Forums

I am not proud of the person I was. I tried to do my best to encourage people- but there are some people that I have wronged.

For example, I had a girlfriend, named Alpha. (I think she told me her irl name, but I honestly forgot).

Me and her had a great time. We would talk on the BRLNS server, play some mini-games, go on little dates, etc.

But for SOME reason, I was doing the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life- LYING to my close friends at the time. I would say that I was dying of some kind of rash... I ask myself why I even did that... but I know why- I wanted the attention. *smh*

I started talking negatively around her, and then something happened which resulted in us being broken up.
Before I met Alpha, I was playing a round in TNTRun. I would play TNTRun with my favorite music... good memories.

Anyway, I was in the lobby of TNTRun when I met one of my closest friends- Jackie.
We bonded and played together on TNTRun. I met her boyfriend too, he was cool.
... By this point, I'm with Alpha, and started being stupid- I was lying to them.

One day, I actually forgot why I came clean to Jackie... yes I am a forgetful person. Anyway, she forgave me- but if I did anything like that again, she would put an end to our friendship. GUESS WHAT... I ended up being stupid again... I broke Jackie and Alpha's heart.

One day, I actually forgot why I came clean to Jackie... yes I am a forgetful person. Anyway, she forgave me- but if I did anything like that again, she would put an end to our friendship. GUESS WHAT... I ended up being stupid again... I broke Jackie and Alpha's heart.

I couldn't learn from the first time?? I shattered my relationships with them...
I'm not sure if they remember me. Hopefully they don't... but at the same time, I only hope that they remember my good side.

Shortly after, I got a new girlfriend, (and yes I forgot her name), she was cool.
And, yes, you guessed, I was stupid again and shattered that one too.

I don't know If I will ever get to say sorry to them- that I'm sorry for being a stupid person. I cringe whenever I think about how I acted. I regret all the things I had said that would break their hearts.

Hopefully, Maegann, you don't mind me venting here. I kept that in for years now.
Remember what I said about humans going through things in life?

Yeah, I went through things- terrible things that I wish I can rewrite them, and be more proud of myself.
I hope you don't have to go through heartbreak- ever. I broke my closest friend, and 2 ex-girlfriend's hearts, I even broke my own heart

I don't trust my self with other people.
Time goes on, right? I just wish I can tell them how sorry I am, that I'm sorry for being a selfish person- a stupid person!

Now, I'm careful who I am with. People with bad influence CAN be a bad influence to you. Like how it was with me. (That or there's something entirely wrong with me... Idk).
Again, I'm sorry for venting this here... I don't know where i could do that.

Please, take care of yourself Maegann, and also the ones who see this post, take care of yourselves.
Your Senpai,
Mesa

P.S At the time when I named myself, "SenpaiiMesa_"
I would dress up as a karate master type thing and play Minecraft! Anyway. Goodbye, be positive, and yes, it's hard to be positive in this world, its hard for me too, but lets keep doing our best!

Bye everyone ^_^

Mesa!!
I wish i read this earlier </3
first off, dw about venting on my profile, it’s totally fine xD
I really get what you mean when you look back at your past and just.. cringe really hard. I never wanna be the same person i was back then either, knowing how immature and stupid i used to be lol.

And you’re not the only one who used to try to get people’s attention and act cold at random, I’ve done that before too xD
I also understand what heartbreak feels like too, sometimes it blows my mind that I’ve made myself go through it several times already-