BrokenLens Forums

I’m sorry for being so imperfect. I’m prideful and look to others for validation. I look down on others when I’m angry and I’ve said horrible things. I’ve hurt people I’ve loved and not kept my promises. I’m never honest with myself because my own feelings scare me.

I have a horrible case of seeing myself as a victim because everything hurt so much before. I’m scared to let the past go because I don’t want to ignore the existence of pain and pretend it never happened and judge other people’s sadness and hurts.

I’ve been told such kind things and I’ve been loved so much and I’m so thankful because it feels so undeserved. I’ve been told my heart is full of grief so I started putting on acts to get rid of the pain. I’m sorry for being so dishonest and for being a coward.

I’m so scared of the future. I’m scared because I don’t know who I am or meant to be anymore and I’m honestly afraid people are tired of me. I understand and I’m really sorry. I’m scared of living my life.