BrokenLens Forums

Whoever told me that I would get over it is a liar, because I haven't. I never will. I never got to say goodbye, and even now, after a year has gone by... I still don't know how everything went wrong so fast.

One moment you were happy, bursting with joy and spreading positivity. Then, before I knew, you were gone. I sort of feel guilty, because I'm in so much pain and I never knew you. I feel like I shouldn't be feeling all this.

I feel terrible, sometimes, thinking about our good memories together. Knowing that I won't have any more with you. And then I think about our bad ones and how I could have changed them.

Sometimes I wonder what I'd be like with you, you know. If I still had you. I'd be a completely different person. Losing you has changed me and I don't know how to feel.

I don't like being so negative about all of this, so thank you. Thanks to you, I've tried to have a positive outlook on life. More positive, anyway. I could never forget you, nor do I want to. I love you.

You deserved so much more than what life gave you and on the rare occasion, I think to myself, that if the world was the way it should be, we would have switched positions.

People always tell me, that in time, I'll think of you and smile instead of cry, but I'm just so confused about when that's going to happen. I don't think people, even myself, understand the bond we had with each other. We weren't friends for 10 years, nor did we even meet. But for the year that we were best friends, I was the happiest I had ever been.

When we were together, it was like everything just faded out into the background, until it was just us. You were my soul-sister, and I’m not sure I’ll ever find another.

It pains me to admit that I think about you more now than I did when you were alive. It really does. I wish we talked more often than we did, not that that was even possible, lol. We talked at least once everyday, which was hard with the whole timezone thing.

Death is a horrible thing. Obviously. But, what I mean, is that everything could be fine one moment until the next you can't breathe, when you realise that the person who you were so close with, is gone and they're never coming back.

I miss her.

All I have left of you are my memories and this website. Your messages... Nobody could have seen this coming. It's true what they say: the good die young. For what? Nobody will ever know the answer to that, I hate it.

Time flew by so fast. It went from minutes, to hours. Hours to days. Days to weeks. Weeks to months. Next thing I knew, one whole year. A whole year without you. In that year, the world was a pretty dim place. Without your glorious personality.

I don't think you understand just how much happiness you brought to so many people, you lit up every place you went. Everyone was a friend to you

I hope you realise, that not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. Honestly, I just love you so much. Everybody does.

I always feel like the universe fought for us, for us to meet, because if I hadn’t met you, I don't want to know who I'd be. You and I had a purpose. You taught me more about love than I think anyone ever will. You changed everything, you changed me.

Rest in peace, Pixie. Just know that you haven’t been forgotten here, you never will be. I’ll keep your memory alive, I’ll promise you that. I love you so much, Queen of Chu.