BrokenLens Forums

I don't want to celebrate Christmas. I don't want to celebrate it without you. I can imagine how excited you would have been about it all. With your happy, bubbly and fun personality. So infectious, everytime I thought of you, I smiled.

It's been a year already. This is my second Christmas without you. And out of everything that's happened since you've gone, out of the shocking amount of times I've cried, the number of messages I've posted on your profile, out of EVERYTHING, the most shocking part of it all for me... is that I lost you.

I loved, I loved and I lost you. And I just keep asking myself, "Why wasn't it enough?" You're loved beyond words. You're kind, funny, beautiful, perfect. An actual angel.

Why you, out of everyone and everything in this stupid world, why were you the one to be taken? I wish it was me. God, do I wish it was me.

I never ever thought I'd lose you. I'm just a normal girl. We're just a normal pair of best friends. But, now that I think about it, we're not normal. We're not ordinary. We're unique and special. We always will be.

Before this, I had never lost a anyone, unless you count my pet hamster. But never have I ever felt like this. Never have I ever grieved for someone that I've not ACTUALLY known.

To anyone reading this, I'm alright. I'll be ok. I just go on her profile every once in a while to omitt my emotions.